guitarlove6437

Yep! I’m taking commissions!
I’ll be starting with doing 3 slots, everything is done through email.

Order Form
Name (for crediting purposes): 
PayPal Name:
Character Name:
Type of Order (Color Block, Portrait, etc):
Reference(s):
Comments/Notes:

Email: lmk6437@yahoo.com

Will Draw
Fan OCs
Fandomless OCs
Sonas
Gijinkas

Won’t Draw
Furries
Mechas
NSFW
Anything without a reference!*

*Here's a quick reference guide, as I require some kind of visual reference! This is a non-exhaustive list of potential refs you can use:
* Dress up game screencap(s)
* Your own art
* Someone else's art of the character
* Mix of X & Y characters from other works, with as much creative freedom you deem for me to design the final "mix"
* If it's a sona character, if you're comfortable with it you could send pictures of yourself and examples for what the sona is from (i.e. Gemsona)
* If it's a gijinka, you can leave it at the character you want humanized (like the character mix, as much creative freedom as you deem)
The reason I require visual references is I simply don't see imagery from written description alone.

Last thing I want to note: if you are a Vaporwave musician and would like to use my art as an album or single cover, let me know. Basically, if you plan on using your order as a cover, please let me know!

Hey guys! I first wanted to do a shameless self-plug for my webcomic, Knight & Day! You can find it here! I am on a three-week streak of updating it regularly on Mondays. C:
The comic focuses on an urban fantasy setting, with the fantastic is the normal everyday life. The "Knight & Day" is a service, much like a detective agency. There are three main pairs who work at the agency, and the first three chapters are focusing on the typical cases they work on. To start off are Mei and Meredith Liao, a married couple for the past 400-500 years. Mei is a knight dedicated to protecting those she loves, whereas Meredith is an arcane mage who believes anyone is worth saving. 
I saw several months ago when I mentioned working on a webcomic some of you guys were interested, so there you go! ^^

You may have noticed the second part of the title: commissions. I have a solid idea of what kind of I'll do/accept and even have a graphic almost complete to post. The main thing holding me back is figuring out PayPal. I have an account, but I'm not sure if it's right? Like I thiiiiink I have to have it as a business account but it's asking for "legal business name" and...what? I saw when I first started to try to set it up (before I saw the legal business name and fled to a regular account) there was a chat feature to help with the setup, but when I went to upgrade to a business account the chat feature wasn't there anymore???
If any one of you guys more familiar with taking commissions can help me out, I'd appreciate it!

Hey guys, I mentioned in the last journal I was working on a webcomic, and it's launched today! So far it's just the cover page of the first chapter, some bios on the main cast, and a glossary. Y'see, Knight & Day takes place in a world where fantastical creatures (elves, vampires, werewolves, etc.), exist and have always been known to humans. Knight & Day in-universe is a service people can go to deal with their fantastical problems requiring more violence and/or expertise. It's run by Mei and Meredith Liao, a long-married couple who've been dealing with these issues for literally hundreds of years.
You can find it here!

In 2008, I joined a few forums: Pixelbee, Kawaiiville, and later in 2009, Buzz With Us. All of these forums are gone now, but all of these forums brought me to a form of art I was unaware of. I started dolling in 2009, and I've been doing it off and on ever since. It was my escape and my way to vent from a world I felt trapped in. I started dolling when I was 14, and now I'm 22. For eight years, I've been pixelling, experimenting, and using bases. I've been obsessed with monochrome to the point a mod on a forum gave me a suiting nickname. I've been doing fanart, joining contests and pageants, and joining any forum in site. Yet through all of it, I've always felt I've missed something, like a memo or something. I felt behind. I couldn't catch up. I didn't know how or if I even should've vented about it. My most popular works, to this day, are all from 2012. Even as I felt I was improving and coming into my own, it seemed it didn't matter. Everyone else just got something I just didn't have and I didn't know what it was. So I went on frequent and often long hiatuses. Between hiatuses I had bursts of inspiration and motivation, but it'd be crushed when I saw how poorly I did in contests. I felt so selfish and attention seeking. Why was I so greedy for attention? Why couldn't I stop comparing myself to others?
Consider this my goodbye to the dolling world. I might return in bursts here and there, but I can't stop coming back and expecting myself to stay permanently. I don't regret joining this community, no matter how much it may have burned me, as it gave me the drive to keep experimenting. Keep moving. And love that monochrome.
I'm currently getting a webcomic together, and it's coming along nicely! I'll be sure to make a journal entry when it's up. C:

If you've been following me on Tumblr or seeing the stamps I've faved lately, you've probably noticed the influx of gay pride. Well, it's cause I am.
It took me far too long to really accept I was, and I decided to write out a summary of that journey. 
I grew up in a conservative, Christian home, church, and school. That church and school were the same building, by the way. One of those stereotypical churches teaching how gay people chose to be gay and same for transgender people. I was given books about the importance of girls maintaining purity and how boys can't control themselves. I would say the first real moment of discovery for me was when I was in third grade. I had a few female friends, and one day we went to the bathroom together cause I wanted to keep talking to her. There were only two stalls, and one of them was out of order. The other stall was broken, it wouldn't even shut. Usually another girl would just hold the door open, but she didn't want me to (it might've been because I'd have to hold the bottom of it due to my height). I remember how the door slammed open and shut as she kept talking, I can still picture her sitting there half naked with no care in the world.
Another time was with a new friend of mine in middle school. I was staying at her house for the night, and the two of use had decided now was the time to change into PJs. I went into the attached bathroom to do so, expecting her to change while I was in there. She didn't. I sat down on her bed, and she explained how her doctor instructed her to not wear underwear to bed for "airing out." She changed right in front of me. I felt simultaneously disgusted and confused and curious all at once in all the time of maybe half a minute.
There were various other times I saw girls changing and felt that innate pull to watch, feeling disgusted with myself for it. These girls were my friends, fellow church goers, sisters in Christ, why would I want see them? One time especially hitting what I'm describing was a trip my youth group made to Clearwater, Florida. Every year my church's youth group made a trip over the summer. On this particular camp (which was much closer to the term "camp" than other trips due to being not centered around a conference), the church rented a house about a block from the beach. All of the girls and boys were staying in separated rooms with bunk beds and a bathroom. It was common courtesy to change into swimsuits in the bathroom. Two older girls, probably high school juniors or seniors, were changing and they kicked me into one of the side rooms in the bathroom. I remember the distinct feeling of disappointment.  
Through exposure online like on forums and various other sites, I started to let go of the sentiment of being gay as a sin. But I still had my puzzle in my head. Imagine a puzzle board forming a picture of three boys with mismatched faces, almost completely deformed other than the vague look of a facial structure of forehead to chin. There are no eyes or noses or mouths where they should be. Taking a closer look, none of the pieces are where they should be. They're forced together with tape, glue, and stitching. Yet there's a person standing in front of it saying "no, no it's perfectly fine! It's always looked like this!" 
I told myself I was asexual and heteoromantic. That's why I was repulsed by dick. I just didn't want to have sex with them! Simple!
Even though whenever I was around straight couples, even ones I supported, I felt uncomfortable if I was too close. There were times I was given the option to sit next to them as they cuddled and I emphatically told them I was fine where I sat. If a man put an arm around his wife or girlfriend at church my mouth upturned in confusion and disgust. Hugging men I knew, unless they were some sort of familial figure to me, sometimes filled me with a gross feeling I couldn't pinpoint. Just shaking hands with men for too long felt wrong. I kept telling myself all of this would be solved if I got with a man.
Except it didn't. I had a brief, long-distance one and it felt so incredibly awkward. It wasn't because I didn't like him. I did.
I then thought about all of the male friends I'd made in the past and present. All of the ones I was closest too were like brothers to me. I couldn't picture getting with any of them. All of the crushes I had in the past didn't last long. I didn't want to get with them. I wanted them to reject me. I was scared of them reciprocating my feelings.
I told myself all of the longing glances I gave to women, all of the times I complimented them, all of those instances were platonic. I was just appreciating. Even though most of the relationships I try to keep are with women. Even though most of the times I compliment a girl I hope she takes it more than as than that. Even though whenever I looked at anything sexual, I avoided anything with pleasuring a man. I just told myself it was because I was a woman and imagining it being done to me.
That's when the puzzle board's glue, stitching, and tape fell apart in one swoop. I found my own writing describing girls a year prior on my Tumblr (this was from this past September), all with words like "cute," "gorgeous," "perfect," etc. I remember telling myself as I wrote those words it would go "too far" to describe them as hot. Even though I thought they were. One in particular stood out though. It was a woman with long, gorgeous dreadlocks. The last two tags went like this: "all of these people are too perfect like her," "those dreadlocks are awesome." I asked myself as I reread it over and over again "why did I separate them?"
It was because calling her perfect without specifying her dreadlocks would mean I was calling her perfect. It wasn't her style, it wasn't her fashion sense, no it was her that attracted me. 
I told myself so many lies in a desperate attempt to call myself straight. To have one small part of being "normal." I didn't choose to be gay. I tried choosing to be straight. 

There's a great interpretation of one of the alleged verses declaring being gay a sin, an alternative viewpoint I see as relevant to my story. Romans 1:26-27 goes like this: “Through this, God gave them over to passions of dishonor; their women exchanged the natural use into one against nature, likewise also the males left the natural use of the female, burned in their lust for each other, males in males, committing an unseemliness, receiving in themselves the appropriate reward for their error.” Hope Remains (hoperemains.webs.com/) makes the argument I wholeheartedly believe that this passage isn't referring to Mankind in general, but a person's nature on an individual level. So in other words, a person's God-given nature when it comes to sexuality. If that's the case, which I strongly believe is, I wasn't made to be straight. Forcing myself to try and be straight not only isn't healthy, it goes against God. Why would I fight against a part of myself God clearly intended, what from all the years worth of times I wanted to be with women and not men? I refuse to anymore. I'm tired of hiding that part of myself from everyone, including myself.